Have you ever wondered why we love? What we want from it. Why we go through the whole rollercoaster & risk cynicism & a broken heart? One could argue reproduction of course, but we all know that you can slip & fall & whoops… reproduction.
So obviously that is not why.
We could argue that it is to have someone to be close to, someone to love. But then again, most people are born into families with siblings, cousins, parents, aunts, uncles, grand-parents etc. So we are not really alone enough to need what we already have.
So why fall in love?
Granted love is not always a roller coaster. For some it is a blissful dream. So the cynicism & heartbreak is not the norm. But more often than not someone is left sprawled in the dust. We all know how it works… high noon in your living room & her gun is on her lip. Your sawed off shotgun is in your hand & the sweat from your brow drips. She draws & white smoke accompanies the crack, as her pistol goes bang! Bang! You fire & a loud report registers through the hills as your shotgun jumps in your hands. The dust clears & there are tears and accusations & One Republic sings in the background. It’s your classic chick flick fodder, except there is pain & regret & no happily ever after.
Now don’t mistake this for the ceiling, or assume this is based on personal feelings, because honestly, when you look around you at everyone’s dealings, then you can understand why The Offspring wrote “Feelings”….
So again, why do we love?
What are we looking for? Maybe the best description is intimacy. Not just the sexual kind (but FYI that is the glue that binds), no we are looking for the whole damn show.
We want the woman who will tend to us like our mother or the man who will protect us like our father.
We want the partner knows us like a sibling, that will keep us company like a friend.
We want someone to give ourselves to, someone who gives themselves to us.
We want someone that sees us & wants us.
Someone that needs us & trusts us… We really are quite the needy motherfuckers.
But of course we can’t say all that can we? We can’t show how week we are. So we all cross wires & start fires & throw away what we search for all our lives. But no one is perfect so we all try to get it right.
But then instead of discussing things we don’t understand we start a fight. We say things that keep us up at night. We want more from our partners than what they can give. The complications are endless & the lessons are harsh & yet… we still keep looking for it.
We are willing to go through the fire & walk the wire because when we are in love… it is almost as if we have managed to find our way back to The Garden. When we get it right then the answer is revealed because the best part of love is how it makes us feel. And when the two become one the whole ideal is fireworks & a ride into the sunset.
So why do we end up relegating our love to a memory when we commit to love each other eternally? It’s all really baffling.
But at the end of the day, when you are looking into her eyes & she smiles her golden smile, your hand on her thigh while she strokes your cheek… you know it is all worth it.
That this is where you are supposed to be. Because if your girl loves you back or your man loves you back, then they give you what they want you to give them. They become your other half.
Then the question “Why do we love?” becomes a moot point because all there is, is “Love”.